"I've been trying so hard

just to keep away. And now look where I am standing at today. Trying so hard to walk away, but it's impossible to watch you fade away. Did you ever stop believing after all was said and done? When you turned to your friends but they were long gone, and the sky and the snapshots remind you, I trust you and I'm always going to miss you. It's all a blur, it's all a blur. It's all a blur, it's all a blur, like a picture, reminds me who you were." -Blue, Zebrahead

I can’t stop thinking about it. I can’t let another friendship go to waste. We’ve been friends since Summer ’07. I can’t bear the silence. Some days it’s okay. Other’s can be the most depressing days that I’ve ever experienced. And then some days I can go on without a care and be happy in the most false way, but I ignore the truth and persevere the falseness. It gets to my overtime though, regardless of how I’m feeling. The words just never get through anymore. So, you place someone on the pedestal, hoping they'll understand where you're going, and you're too afraid to say what you want. So you resort to circumlocution, to insinuate the words that you can't say. But every word that comes out of their mouth in response sounds so insincere and they seem so oblivious. Soooooo, well, I guess, all you can say after a while is, how do you fix this?

It doesn't help that my sister is in a really angry, and bad mood today. There's a lot of negative energy in the room when she's near.