Growing up

I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. Well, my dad makes me hate it. My sister really, really hates him and wants to kill him. Me, I just don't even talk to either of my parents, let alone my dad. I don't hate him. I just really, really dislike him. I can figure out how to to things on my own. I need help in some areas, but please, not from my dad. When he comes into the same room that I'm in, I move away. Duh. I mean, who wouldn't.

Both my parents are racists. That's a given. My sister and I were talking about this at church one day while we were waiting for everyone else to come for choir practice. My mom likes fair skins. She prefers it. She doesn't like people with my skin color and darker. I don't understand why she married our dad. Yet she's look down on other people besides my own family, who are darker. She's so condescending and discriminatory. Her mom is darker. She's the only person who stands out in the family now. Ugh, her racism is the part that I hate most about her. And my dad, he's just a complete douche. I guess he's where I get it from.

Anyway, I don't want to grow up. I hate how my parents, myself, and everyone really, are investing time and money, on things I don't give a crap about anymore. I don't really care about violin and singing anymore. It's sad to say. Right now the only reason why I'm doing the musical activities, is because I need to occupy my time somehow. And that isn't even very true anymore. I'm not even practicing. Now it's turning into something I don't enjoy. I used to play music and sing because I enjoy it. Yeah, you have to practice and get some experience in musical groups to get better and gain a better understanding of what you're doing. But that's just too much. Plus, my parents want me to be a doctor. Same as every parent in America, so I'm convinced. Yes, you need activities for colleges to be able to I guess... like you. It qualifies you or whatever.

If and when I go looking for a job when I'm older, they'll ask me, "Why do you want this job?" Me? Honestly, my answer would be, "I don't... I just need a job." Then again, after college and all the money that went into it, I don't want it to go to a waste.

So I got a SLR for photography! I can't wait!